by phlimm
How can you tell when spaghetti is perfectly cooked? Take a couple pieces and throw them at the wall. If they stick for a couple of seconds then fall off, it is done. This seems to be the approach that Stronghold Games apparently took when designing Panic Station.In yet another in the long line of “let’s (sort of) cooperatively try to get out alive of this insanity inducing, horror laden, alien strewn, randomly appearing landscape” games, Panic Station seems to have tried to succeed by just tossing some rules in a box and hoping that it sticks to the proverbial gamer wall.
Here we are, space-farers all, trying to destroy the hive of some horrible alien species. Each player has a human character and an android character. Each moves independently. And for some reason, whenever either of them finds a physical object, the other one has access to it as well. No matter how far apart they are, if the android finds a knife – the human can stab with it, a data card – now they both can open doors. OK fine, we’ll do what we do at the movies…suspend belief for sake of the fun.
So, we travel thousands of light years to a hostile alien world and the humans bring…unloaded flame throwers. And the ability to use a knife. The androids know how to use guns, but don’t bring any, nor do they bring any ammo. OK…fine. We all start with some cards, so that’s what we were able to grab just before going into the complex. Maybe I’ll have a gun or ammo or a knife in my hand. Fine.
So what are we up against? Well one of our group has been infected with the alien host. We don’t know which one so we have to be careful. ANY time we enter a room with another teammate we have to either…attack them…or trade with them. Okkaaaayyy, fine. What do we have in our defense against this alien infection? Well we have…gasoline. Wait, what? Gasoline. You know, that fossil fuel that was used 200 years ago to power the internal combustion engine? Apparently the aliens are allergic to it or something. So if they trade with you and give you some of their infected blood, just toss a can of gas at them an you’ll be safe. Ummmmmmm…fine. Whatever.
This is all starting to sound really formulaic and a bit…random, but at least there aren’t any leeches or parasites or some other squishy bitey critters running around. Well…actually there are. You see any time you search a room, you generate one of the little beasties. They will probably not bother you though because they move completely at random and will also bite onto the infected person in the group if they encounter him. But yeah, they are soft looking and parasitic and squeamishly good.
So when you trade with a human you can only give them objects you carry, gas is best. As an infected, you need to give out tainted blood. So you start off with three bloods and two items. What happens if you end up with a hand of ONLY your blood and the alien bloods, but are not infected because you traded gas each time. Oh well that is going to RARE TO THE EXTREME. So don’t worry about it. It won’t happen. Except…if you want to avoid generating the parasites by searching too much, and have some gas to defend against infection, it will. So then as a human with only blood in your hand, you look like an infected when you trade with fellow non-infected humans.
So to summarize – a questionable (at best) plot, overly complicated and seemingly broken rules, and a “me too” semi-coop alien horror theme all combine into a game that I will not likely volunteer to play again. I just cannot suspend that much belief for the small amount of fun that it provided. My advice – use the gas to drive to the game shop and buy something else.